So the lady made us wait for a few minutes while my daughter, who is 14 and hasn’t been on a plane since she was 4, started getting freaked out. Then she finally got her bag and opened it and searched it very thoroughly while asking us about whether or not she had any sharp objects.
She dresses punky despite loving Hello Kitty and she packed some spiked jewelry, so we thought maybe that was it.
It was not.
It was her deodorant.
The lady pulled out her deodorant, took it over to some special station where she did some sort of chemical analysis, and then gave it back and told us to zip up her case and leave.
Thanks for protecting the airport from dangerous deodorant, TSA! Great job!
My biggest pet peeve about the TSA is how they get all annoyed if you don’t know what randomly selected procedures they’ll be using today.
The TSA deliberately randomizes its security procedures. Different airports use different procedures, and the same airport uses different procedures at random. Sometimes you need to take your laptop out of your bag; sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you need to take off your shoes; sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you can just use the metal detector, sometimes they want you to use the rape scanner.
Which is fine I suppose; it makes sense to leave potential threats guessing. But the real problem is the attitude of the TSA agents themselves. It’s not just that they randomly select procedures; it’s that they get angry about it. Start taking off your shoes out of habit at a TSA line that today doesn’t require it? A community college dropout will soon be by, screaming at you for daring to take your shoes off in line. Start taking your laptop out when they’ve decided that today is a day for leaving it in? Some guy that couldn’t even meet the low bar of becoming a regular police officer will be in your face about it within seconds.
I’ve only flown twice. My first time there was someone repeatedly announcing “leave your laptops in your bags” to everyone. When I get to the scanner, my bag was pulled and searched for 10 minutes. They then threw the bag back at me and scolded me for not removing my laptop.
You might know this already but if not, people who have TSA Precheck don’t need to remove their laptops or take off their shoes. Sometimes TSA guys will remind people of this in the precheck scanner line. It’s not always super clear which scanner line is the precheck line vs regular though and perhaps you were hearing the precheck instruction instead.
That’s definitely possible. I’ve only ever flown twice so I’m not exactly familiar with the process.
This lady gave me shit for standing “at the other side” of a table that was sticking out a little. I was standing next to it to give my daughter room. I had to back up so that I was technically behind the table. There would have been no way for me to get to the lady from where I was standing or any other TSA employee or equipment. Just ridiculous.
Or when they start robbing people and then committing money laundering
Uh… What’s a rape scanner?
The one that lets them see through your clothing.
Spoiler
It’s what I call the Rapiscan systems
https://www.rapiscansystems.com/en/
I just call them the rape scanners.
The beeping dildo
I don’t think they get annoyed, it’s just that the way they talk is most efficient at communicating in that environment.
Nah. At my flight last week, I pulled out my laptop to put in a separate tray. Apparently for that day, they wanted to keep laptops inside the bags. The line was so busy that when I asked if I need to remove my laptop, instead of just answering me, the agent kept on repeating “sir, what did I say? What did I say?” in an annoyed voice. And he literally was waiting for me to answer, when I didn’t know what he said because I was at the end of the line far from him. That’s not efficient.
Yeah - this is infuriating. I flew today and went to take out my laptop & tablet - I had packed them in my bag so that it would be an easy move.
She started barking at me not to do that. So I asked about shoes. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.”
Goddamn lady. You just had to say yes.
I guess TSA agents are particularly nice to me.